WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR BODY
What do you want to be when you die?
contributer JACLYN BROWN
I’m totally serious here: what do you actually, physically, want to be when you die? We certainly didn’t name this project Death by Design for nothing and one of the most intriguing areas of our research revealed an abundance of dynamic choices for what you can do with your body once you’ve died. Maybe you feel like life has restricted you, perhaps the the norms and values of society suppressed your innermost desires to express your individuality. Don’t worry one bit because thanks to bizarre advances in modern technology, you can quite literally become whatever you want when you die. Although the majority of people will opt for cremation, we think you should at least be informed about alternative options catering to the quirks that made you uniquely you in life. The options below range from intriguing to downright insane, but variety is the spice of life- I mean, the spice of death. So without further adieux, here is a comprehensive list of the top 10 most fascinating and borderline disturbing things to do with your corpse when you die. The options are bountiful, for after all, this is your final chance to express who you were in life.
If you’re anything like me, pizza is life. So why can’t pizza be death too? If pizza was one of your favourite delights while alive- then fear no more. Sure your family might think this urn is a bit cheesy, but your passion for pizza doesn’t have to end when your life does. Your unwavering affection for pizza will undoubtedly leave a legacy as In the Light Urns have made the perfect final resting place for your remains - in a pizza box urn. With a price tag of $269.95 USD, this might just be the most expensive pizza you’ve ever bought but you will rest in peace... or as it’s written on the urn, rest in pizza.
Why does Egyptian royalty get to have all the fun? Mummification is no longer reserved for the highest echelons of Egyptian society and thanks to the masterminds at summum.org - you too can be wrapped like a king. The process claims to combine medicine, chemistry and art but still incorporates traditional wrapping in fine cloth. After you die your body is shipped to Summum, Utah where it’s cleaned and prepared for immersion in a regal bath of chemicals used in genetic engineering. Afterwards you’ll be anointed with oils and wrapped up in cotton and silk cloths followed by a fiberglass seal. The final step will encase your mummified body in bronze or steel and from they you depart to the resting place of your choice. You may have been totally ordinary in life, but in death you can be royal. However, you might get a little wrapped up in the price since the process starts at $67,000 dollars, but this option surely makes a statement!
Memorial tattoos are like...so basic. However recent advances in tattoo ink means you can quite literally be a physical part of the ones you leave behind. A few companies across Canada and the US have caught onto this new trend where tattoo artists infuse tattoo ink with the cremated remains of your body. Basically they’ll sift the ashes into a fine dust (which may or may not be baked for sterilization) and combine it with tattoo ink. There’s a bonus too – once they’ve infused the ink, there is still plenty of ashes to spare. This is a perfect two-in-one deal if you’re on the fence about spending all of your ashes in one place.
While we’re on the topic of tattoos, here’s another sweet idea. I mean you paid a fortune for that full arm dragon sleeve, so why not preserve it for eternity? Tattoo artist Charles Hamm started the National Association for the Preservation of Skin Art (NAPSA) and savemyink.com, a non-profit preserving the tattoos of the dead. All you have to do is notify NAPSA 18 hours post mortem and they’ll send a kit to your local funeral home.From there, the extracted skin is sent back to the organization where they preserve the tattoo in a frame for your relatives. The removed layers of skin actually help to showcase and enhance the original ink so you don’t have to worry about fading. Besides, your skin will be a lively addition to any drab living room wall and a real conversation starter for dinner parties.
If you loved the ocean while living, you can help it when you’re dead. The ocean seems like a peaceful place to rest and it just so happens your body composition can aid coral reefs in need. The organization Eternal Reefs mixes a special concrete formula with cremated remains to create whats called a reef ball. This eco-friendly option helps foster the growth of microorganisms and eventually coral once dropped in the ocean. Depending on the size of the reef ball, the cost ranges from three to eight thousand USD, and includes a bronze plate for names and sentiments. Family members can imprint their hands in the concrete and board ship to cast you into the sea. With over 700,000 reef balls in the ocean, dumping your body in the ocean is so much more sentimental.
Go out with a BANG... literally! Your may have led a boring life but your death will be a loud and lively one as company Holy Smoke will use your ashes to make bullets. If you were a passionate huntsman or skeet shooter in life, this is the option for you. Simply mail the cremated ashes to the company and they'll send you back the bullets. One pound of ash yields about 250 bullets, and they’ll even customize the bullet to your hunting needs and gun size. It’ll bring a whole new level of fun to your hunting trip and I’m sure you’re wife will be delighted to finally say without consequence, I just shot my husband!
It can be stressful contemplating what the afterlife holds, so just to be safe you can have a robot made to be exactly like you. The Terasem Movement is apparently in pursuit of transferring human consciousness to robots. Founder Martine Rothblatt decided to model it after her living wife, Bina, as a prototype worth roughly $150,000. The Bina48 bot was created with over 100 hours of audio recorded memories and likes from real Bina, sharing her sense of humor and even appearance. Although not commercially available for production at this point, over 56,000 people have handed over their info and audio to create mind files like the one that gave life to Bina48.
Your human body has restricted your dream of flying for long enough! Your good friends at The Eternal Ascent Society in Florida will fulfill your dreams of flying by placing a small amount of ashes in a 5-foot biodegradable helium balloon. After that, friends and family can gather in a ceremony to release your remains into to the sky for your first and final flight. The site boasts no ceremony mishaps have occured, but since all balloons eventually pop … maybe ask your guests to bring an umbrella to the funeral - just to be safe.
Who would want to forget a face like yours? Besides, 3D printing is all the rage right now so why not be trendy when you die. A cremation company in Vermont is using 3D printing to create an urn that looks like your face. Cremation Solutions uses two pictures of your face in combination with facial recognition technology to create the correct facial dimensions and size of your head. Don’t worry about your appearance too much because the company can even erase those pesky blemishes. Your face-urn will look even better than you did alive. You’ve got to love technology.
If you have a crippling fear of death, there is even an option for you. Technological advancements are limitless and what if one day they can bring people back from the dead, but you're already gone? The people at Cryonics are here to soothe your fear of missing out, because they “don’t consider the legal definition of dead as a permanently irreversible state.” They simply drop you into a giant vat of liquid nitrogen to completely stop the process of decay and store your frozen body accordingly. Besides, the low price of $28,000 dollars is surely worth paying for the possibility of being alive again.